'You have to be this old to eat here'

I’m trying to get through to Barack Obama’s people because clearly there’s a mistake in his biographical info. It says he’s 46 years old. If that were true, a presidential candidate would be younger than I am, and that can’t be. I haven’t been so outraged since AARP sent me a Yes, You’re Eligible! notice. In large type, no less.

Of course, being young isn’t what it once was. Sure, those of a tender age can now download all the porn they want via the internet. But it’s not all Guitar Hero and skateboarding, dude. How about having to get up in the morning? Or being forced to share the Wii with siblings—and sometimes even Mom or Dad?

Then there’s the situation that came to light last week in Florida’s House of Mouse. Disney, a company that generates billions of dollars from kids, reportedly decided that could no longer tolerate them in one of its fine-dining restaurants, Victoria & Albert’s at the Grand Floridian Resort & Spa. Persons under age 10 will no longer be served. It makes you wonder if the place borrowed a convention from its sister theme park and put a big sign and yardstick outside: “You must be at least this tall to go into this restaurant.”

The ban has drawn a mixed reaction from parents, if recent reports on the blogosphere aren’t completely goofy. Some posting parents said they welcome the option of enjoying a meal where they don’t have to cut up someone’s meat or pretend the plane is entering the hangar. But others wondered what parents are supposed to do with the mini-people while Mom and Dad enjoy the only Disney restaurant to earn a five-diamond rating from Triple A.

According to an Associated Press story, it may not be that much of an issue. With prices starting at $125 per person, it reported, Victoria & Albert’s only hosted about three families per month prior to the ban.

Whatever. I know I’m going to kick a cat and gnaw a cheese wedge tomorrow just to show my solidarity with mice everywhere. One of their own, and perhaps the most famous of all, is working for a company with the smarts and courage to make a bold call, even if the decision prompts some harrumphing from the sort of parents who never turn off the Baby Mozart CD.

Oh, well. Too bad I’m still on hold with Obama headquarters. I should’ve called John McCain or Hillary Clinton instead, so we could’ve sung the Mickey Mouse Club theme together.